I have two vivid memories of pure evil when I was around 5 or 6 years old. Once, I pinched the little girl next door even though she was younger and had done nothing to deserve it. I am not sure why I did it, but I do remember she had blond curls and was an only child - reason enough, I suppose. I still feel badly about it.
The other was during a visit to Janie Gorden's house. Janie was in my first grade class at Christ the King. Just in case you haven't already figured it out, it was a Catholic school. Her hair was long brown ringlets. I still had my crew cut. Janie's house had a giant cursive "G" on the front. It was wonderful.
First grade was hard for me. I struggled with such things as how many nasty school peas would I have to eat to get my grandfather out of purgatory. Remember purgatory? It's gone now. I think they tore it down when they enlarged heaven, thus no longer needing a waiting room. Then after learning Christmas carols I was stricken to find out there was such things as "heavenly peas". I visualized them as much larger than the standard variety and was horrified at the thought that we might be served those one day. And just how would one sleep in them?
Anyway, back to Janie's house. Her mom was cooking and Janie asked for a slice of raw potato. This was new to me, but I was polite, so said yes I would like one too. Yuck! I stuck it in the couch. I have paid for that sin every week of my child-rearing life. Just yesterday, I removed the cushions to vacuum and found pens, pencils, crochet hooks, chewed gummy worms, enough crumbs to build another couch entirely of crumbs AND.....
It would be poetic to claim there was a rotten potato wedge, but this blog is about absolute truth. Besides, there is no such subtlety in my life. No, I found a dehydrated ball of Jackson poop.
Beyond amusing! (My dogs would have eaten the poop - they love stuff like that)
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