A Friend of a Friend

This is Annie.  Now, you dog lovers, don't get too excited.  Annie is not my dog.  She belongs to my friend, Alicia, who refused to read my blog unless I posted Annie's picture.

I don't love dogs...or cats...or hamsters...or any of the other creatures people bring into their homes.  I am not a bad person. I catch stray cats so I can take them to get shots and fixed.  As a matter of fact, I once kidnapped my sister's filthy, matted, neglected miniature poodle so I could take it to the vet and then found it a good home, which was definitely not mine. I just don't want to clean up poop.  When my kids ask for pets, I tell them they are lucky I let them live in my house.

I also don't believe animals are people.  Not that Alicia does - she thinks they are better than people.  I have been friends with Alicia a long time.  She believes in telling it like it is.  I imagine when she was a 3 year-old her mother wished they had invented the kiddie muzzle rather than the kiddie leash.  You know, the kid you are afraid to take to your family reunion because you are certain she is going to make your hormonal, first-time-pregnant cousin cry by shouting out, "Look at that fat lady!"  Or when you introduce her to your bachelor, great-uncle you can already hear "Wow, you look old!"

But underneath her somewhat gruff exterior Alicia has a heart of gold.  I know this because Annie eats her own poop and somehow Alicia still loves her.  That is most definitely a deal breaker for me.  She knows the names of everyone's kids and dogs.  She asks about their families and how they are feeling and remembers where their kids are going to college.  In short, she is a WAY better person than I am.  Alicia turns into mush with Annie as I witnessed in a recent trip together.  I swear to you she teared up when Annie had to be left in her kennel so Alicia could go out to eat.  Which was only necessary because I refused to babysit.  Alicia forgave me my cold-heartedness.  I think she is used to it.

I know people love dogs because they are faithful, loyal and affectionate.  I already have that.  I have Alicia.